Overcoming Body Image Issues from a former Professional Cyclist/Mountain Biker
A common thread in many of my conversations lately with friends and clients is the concept of body image. Even before Instagram we were inundated with perfection in looks and in body and we spent most of our time obsessing over how we look. Billions of dollars are spent each year advertising ways for us to spend money to help us feel better about how we look. Magazines, media, cinema always present us with unattainable perfection. Therefore we spend our money on products and services to become that which is presented to us. If you haven't heard of young women having plastic surgery so they can look like their Instagram-filtered-image, google it just for information. We watch what we eat and exercise to burn calories. We worry about what others think. Constantly.
When we aren’t happy with our body and we’re in this space of self-judgment and fear of judgment from others, we cannot live in our dharma or our life purpose. The underlying discontent reaches into every aspect of our life.
I recently decided to look deeper into this issue and explore and share my own journey with you.
I grew up with body shaming and body image issues (ok, who didn’t?). But I want to focus on a little part of my adult life that may surprise you and hopefully help you with your own journey.
In the year 2000, I began racing mountain bikes professionally. I started out my career looking like a fairly normal human. After my first World Cup race in Napa Valley, I was so disappointed in my performance, I went to the bookstore and bought Lance Armstrong’s book about training and performance.
The premise of the book was that you needed to be as light and strong as possible, and the way to do that is to train hard and eat just under the amount of calories you need to survive. While it’s not stated that way, that’s how it turns out. I lost probably 20 pounds, I can’t remember anymore. I weighed all of my food. I would take a PowerBar on my ride and eat it in sections based on the amount of time I was riding. Every calorie was accounted for. Every calorie burned, every calorie consumed. Inevitably my weight yo-yoed up and down throughout the years. It was incredibly difficult to maintain this level of obsession. (I later learned through exposés on Lance Armstrong that one method he and his team would train for most of the day riding for hours, come home, take a sleeping pill, drink a bottle of bubbly water and take a nap in order to NOT EAT).
I had become incredibly bulimic. If I ate something I “shouldn’t” have, or if I overate, it was pretty easy just to purge it out (vomit, barf, whatever. Do we need to sugar coat this?).
At one point in my career, I had a coach who was hyper focused on body fat. I found myself at 11% body fat during this time. I was so lean and very fast. But it was during this time in my life, I lived in Boulder at the time, that I was obsessed enough to call the local plastic surgeon and ask about getting liposuction for the 2 cellulite cells on my hips. I am not kidding you! I actually thought at 11% body fat that I was fat. During my conversation with the representative I learned that this Doctor’s patients were all elite athletes. Triathletes, cyclists, swimmers, runners. The Boulder elite female athletes looked as if they had no fat because, well, they had it sucked out. It gave me pause. I never went through with it thank God.
Fast Forward to Today
The other day I looked in the mirror as I was massaging myself with almond oil (an Ayurvedic practice called abhyanga) and I said out loud to myself, “damn, you’re hot!” And then I laughed out loud. I couldn’t believe I said it, but I truly meant it. For the first time, perhaps in my entire life, I actually loved myself, my body and the way I looked. I weigh 10 pounds more than I did when I was racing, and I am no longer bulimic! That is a total win to me. I am completely happy, cellulite and all.
So, How Did I Overcome My Negative Body Image?
This was not the easiest hurdle to overcome in my life, it took time, but I can assure you it doesn’t have to take you 20 years. Or longer.
Here are a few tips to get you started on the journey of improving your body image and loving yourself:
Get to know your body. Looking at yourself in the mirror and take inventory, even write it down, of what you like and what you don’t like. Be specific. I do like my hair. I don’t like that dimple on my butt. Articulate the emotions as well. Feel those emotions deeply.
Affirmations. Find one or two that resonate with you: “I am beautiful” or “I am hot” or “I love my body”. While affirmations alone won’t work I do like to use them to help enforce positive mind set.
Get in touch with your best body. Take yourself on a visualization. Sit down in a quiet place for 10 minutes and create a picture of how you look at your best. This might be exactly how you are right now, which I recommend! See yourself as beautiful strong, in your worth as you bask in the glory of your naked body. Worship yourself!
Sit in the emotion of loving your body. When you look in the mirror and or during your visualization, put your hands on your heart and take a moment to breathe and feel how happy and confident you feel. Every time you look in the mirror and have negative thoughts, stop yourself and go back to this positive emotion. Give yourself a hug.
Develop one daily habit that will make you feel good about your body. It could be a 5 minute walk each morning before your coffee or doing a plank or two before your shower. Find a habit that feels good to you and that you can sustain.
Of course there’s more to talk about around this issue, but this will get the conversation started. If you struggle with body image and would like to enroll in my program, you can schedule a call here or send me an email to tonya.r.bray@gmail.com or DM on Instagram @tonyareneebray My coaching program touches on all aspects of your life, and this is just one area we can work on together to help you live a happy life in purpose.
namaste